Butter Falls Woman Loses 635 Pounds on Sunflower Seeds and Beef Jerky
Madison, WI

Tammy Tilz creaked the scales at a staggering 912 pounds last year, and is now over a quarter-ton lighter thanks to the 'seeds and jerky diet'.

Tilz normally started her day with a dozen eggs and a box of Eggo waffles topped with a stick of soft butter.

Right before lunch, a full bag of Doritos for a snack and maybe a 2-liter bottle of orange soda. Lunch? A cooked ham. One or two large boxes of chocolate doughnuts, a bag of Funions and a 12 pack of Coke. Between lunch and dinner there was plenty of time for a couple family-paks each of Twix and Kit Kat bars.

Surprisingly, dinner was quite light for Tilz. Two packages of bacon and another ham cooked in butter sauce, then a deep dish pizza. Usually, a small keg of egg nog was in the fridge to wash it all down. No water for Tammy, ever. "I think it's gross," giggles Tilz.

Tilz finally came to the realization she had an eating problem after she attempted to sell her child as a sex slave for a mere pizza: one large Chicago-style pizza. "I could not help my self and didn’t have any money," said Tilz.

"The pizza smelled delicious and it had been over a half an hour since I had eaten last, and that was only a bag of Starburst and a medium can of cake frosting." Tilz was swiftly arrested by an undercover officer posing as the buyer of her child.

Klaus Fritz - the Peel

 

Home | Contact

The Peel News Magazine - A World Leader in Satirical Journalism | Satire Commentary & News Report

© 2007-2014 The Peel News Magazine - all rights reserved

 

 

Home
Tammy Tils eating on her favorite park bench.