Potluck Melee Triggered When Pencil Poked into Ants on a Log Dish
St. Paul. MN

Initial reports have indicated the melee at a local potluck that claimed the lives of two people was triggered by somebody maliciously poking a pencil into an 'Ants-on-a-Log' dish, prompting the dish-owner to open fire on his fellow coworkers with a muzzle-loader.

Police have not released the names of the victims or the disgruntled potluck participant and rabid fan of the classic finger snack, however they did mention the shooter had left the office building upset and returned minutes later dressed in a Pilgrim outfit holding a musket before drawing the classic Civil War weapon and aiming it at his long-time smoke break buddy.

Unofficial reports have surfaced describing problems in the past with the shooter's potluck entries, including beef-based fruit salads and egg-salad sandwiches using pickled herring and goats milk. However, the ants on a log entry had been a sore spot simply because his trays of snacks were left untouched in the past which festered with the shooter for years.

Witnesses describe the event as taking forever because of how full and intoxicated everyone was which led to slow reaction times. This gave the Pilgrim shooter plenty of time to reload his musket, which can take anywhere from 30-45 seconds to complete.


J Leshnay - the Peel


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A pencil is poked into the triggerman's otherwise untouched potluck dish.