Three Coworkers in the Hospital After Bloody Fight at Office Potluck 4 shared maya banks botticelli_pieces3mp3 bouches expertes lahaie bottman279691996826412_parabellum_315320124059zip What began as an organized potluck lunch on Friday turned wickedly violent as personal insults began to fly during the final moments of the event.
One participant, Cynthia Bumquist, was arrested after bludgeoning a coworker in the head with a toaster oven, which was still plugged-in and in the process of cooking 2 dozen pig-in-a-blanket treats. more> |
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| bottom live the big number 2hiromi uehara spiral sheet download_pb_launcher_exe_fullwma Death Toll Rises to 294 at Waterfall Slide Opening Day Nearly three hundred teenage children have fallen to their deaths in what some are calling the worst waterpark disaster in history. more> |
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Bread Bakery Sick and Tired of Screaming Sourdough Fanatic, Files Restraining Order Knead Sourdough? owner David Spunksucker is frustrated, "When Mancuso calls it's either a profanity-riddled tirade looking for his bread where he is questioning my sexual orientation and wishing us all to hell, or it's a praise-filled call to thank us for our delicious bread." more> |
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Sales Executive Reveals Graphic Porn on PC During Powerpoint Presentation An Oak Valley man lost everything he had worked so hard for last Monday when an errant key stroke during a Powerpoint presentation launched a pornographic slide show. more> |
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ACORN Clean Out of Kool Cigarettes, Dems Now Desperate for Legit Votes ACORN has announced it has run out of Kool cigarettes and now may be forced to discontinue the "Cigarettes for Votes" program launched by Obama democrats last summer. Many multiple-vote casters are enraged and claim the government, more specifically former president George W. Bush, has conspired to stop Kool cigarette shipments from reaching the ACORN offices. more> |
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bottom bar modul joomla signage and wayfinding handbookbottom up avi thepeel.net Synitec's Harm Reduction Policy a HitA Minneapolis corporation's harm reduction initiatives took effect last Monday, and since then employees have taken advantage of the new policies. Glenn Biznicz, a compliance officer for Synitec, now keeps his floor-standing wide-mouthed graphix bong at his desk, and loves the convenience. more> |
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Butter Falls Woman Loses 635 Pounds on Sunflower Seeds and Beef Jerky Tammy Tilz creaked the scales at a staggering 912 pounds last year, and is now over a quarter-ton lighter thanks to the 'seeds and jerky diet'. Tilz normally started her day with a dozen eggs and a box of Eggo waffles topped with a stick of soft butter.. more> |
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Special Report: Spotlight on the Cross-Eyed Leader of the DOT When Tim Michaelson took over as Director of Operations at the Department of Transportation, his ability to see double, sometimes triple, has paved the way for many of the projects currently underway. more> |
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Killer's Road Rage Spares the Lives of Hundreds of Superbowl Fans A Walt Lake man is in custody for plotting to assault a crowd of Superbowl fans with a huge battery of acquired ammunition yesterday, but instead ran out of bullets on the way to the stadium due to his own road rage. more> |
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Mass Extermination Button at Pool Hall Under Investigation Minneapolis Police are investigating a bizarre button installed on the wall at Cyanara's Pool Hall in Bangton Heights. "The mayor has received numerous complaints regarding the button, and wonders what it might actually be triggering when it's pressed", said Police Captain Thad Fearington. more> |
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De Fece's Door-to-Door Shotgun-to-the-Face Coupon Promo Put on Hold De Fece's Pizza, a local pizzaria, has been ordered by a Ramsey County judge to stop a door-to-door marketing campaign which reportedly involves the usage of dum-dum shells (blanks) loaded into a shotgun and then discharged into the prospective customer's face by surprise, all for the purposes of promoting a coupon book for pizza delivery deals. more> |
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Suicide Attempt with Bowling Ball Backfires at IDS Center A 44 year old Eagan man sustained serious injuries today when a bowling ball he threw at a 5oth floor window at the IDS Tower deflected off the glass and hit him in the groin area breaking his coccyx. more> |
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Elizabethan Week Contest Cancelled: Some Registrants Suicidal Contestants of a television station's event are cowering in embarrassment after the organization cancelled this year's Elizabethan Week and the prizes slated to be awarded, but chose anyway to post the photographs of the registrants on the main web site. more> |
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Computerized Human Resources Wall 'Doesn't Give a Rip' The Artificial Intelligence Surrogate, or AIS ("Ace"), controls most of the company's payroll and employee complaints using voice recognition and email correspondence. Many employees have come forward to complain that "HR" is nothing more than an arcade fortune teller that spits out tickets reminding you to check your email for further information. more> |
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Sarin Gas the Cause of Five Deaths in Ridiculous Hospital Mix-up An oxygen tank valve switch was in the wrong position for two days at an Ezekiel West Hospital operating room killing a total of five patients. Many of the victims' families are in shock after a press conference where hospital staff clarified that an A-B switch operated a valve that feeds either oxygen or sarin gas to the patient's breather mask from tanks located in operating room nine. more> |
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Man arrested for assault claims coworker taunted him with pranks Litz defended his actions to police yesterday, "Every so often that Dale guy pretends to punch me in the groin, only to extend his hand out for a handshake. What's worse, he only does it when I'm carrying hot coffee or speaking to somebody important while walking." more> |
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