Three Coworkers in the Hospital After Bloody Fight at Office Potluck What began as an organized potluck lunch on Friday turned wickedly violent as personal insults began to fly during the final moments of the event. One participant, Cynthia Bumquist, was arrested after bludgeoning a coworker in the head with a toaster oven, which was still plugged-in and in the process of cooking 2 dozen pig-in-a-blanket treats. more> |
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Widow's Efforts to Maintain Upper-Class Lifestyle After Husband's Death a Huge Struggle Ever since Anne Tipler's husband was killed last year, she has been forced to support her extravagant lifestyle by actually working. "Life is very difficult for me now that I am working for a living." more> |
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Death Toll Rises to 294 at Waterfall Slide Opening Day Nearly three hundred teenage children have fallen to their deaths in what some are calling the worst waterpark disaster in history. more> |
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Bread Bakery Sick and Tired of Screaming Sourdough Fanatic, Files Restraining Order Knead Sourdough? owner David Spunksucker is frustrated, "When Mancuso calls it's either a profanity-riddled tirade looking for his bread where he is questioning my sexual orientation and wishing us all to hell, or it's a praise-filled call to thank us for our delicious bread." more> |
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Sales Executive Reveals Graphic Porn on PC During Powerpoint Presentation An Oak Valley man lost everything he had worked so hard for last Monday when an errant key stroke during a Powerpoint presentation launched a pornographic slide show. more> |
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ACORN Clean Out of Kool Cigarettes, Dems Now Desperate for Legit Votes ACORN has announced it has run out of Kool cigarettes and now may be forced to discontinue the "Cigarettes for Votes" program launched by Obama democrats last summer. Many multiple-vote casters are enraged and claim the government, more specifically former president George W. Bush, has conspired to stop Kool cigarette shipments from reaching the ACORN offices. more> |
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Synitec's Harm Reduction Policy a Hit A Minneapolis corporation's harm reduction initiatives took effect last Monday, and since then employees have taken advantage of the new policies. Glenn Biznicz, a compliance officer for Synitec, now keeps his floor-standing wide-mouthed graphix bong at his desk, and loves the convenience. more> |
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Special Report: Spotlight on the Cross-Eyed Leader of the DOT When Tim Michaelson took over as Director of Operations at the Department of Transportation, his ability to see double, sometimes triple, has paved the way for many of the projects currently underway. more> |
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Killer's Road Rage Spares the Lives of Hundreds of Superbowl Fans A Walt Lake man is in custody for plotting to assault a crowd of Superbowl fans with a huge battery of acquired ammunition yesterday, but instead ran out of bullets on the way to the stadium due to his own road rage. more> |
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43876 579 AF aubre adam honda civic 2002 sibounddomination__callboypart1rarall that is solid melts into air the experience of modernity by marshall berman excerpt pdf Faker Goes for your Nuts Mass Extermination Button at Pool Hall Under Investigation Minneapolis Police are investigating a bizarre button installed on the wall at Cyanara's Pool Hall in Bangton Heights. "The mayor has received numerous complaints regarding the button, and wonders what it might actually be triggering when it's pressed", said Police Captain Thad Fearington. more> |
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Mind Therapy Tip: Punch the Sky Countless studies and medications for depression and other anxiety disorders come up short for many victims of stress. However psychiatrist Wiley Halvchubb tells each and every patient, regardless of their diagnosis, to just 'punch the sky' when feelings of anger set in. "Sometimes a full minute of swipes at the heavens is all that's needed," says Dr. Halvchubb. "I tell my patients to reject those icky feelings of embarrassment and punch the sky until it hurts, until you feel your arms coming out of their sockets, even." more> |
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De Fece's Door-to-Door Shotgun-to-the-Face Coupon Promo Put on Hold De Fece's Pizza, a local pizzaria, has been ordered by a Ramsey County judge to stop a door-to-door marketing campaign which reportedly involves the usage of dum-dum shells (blanks) loaded into a shotgun and then discharged into the prospective customer's face by surprise, all for the purposes of promoting a coupon book for pizza delivery deals. more> |
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Suicide Attempt with Bowling Ball Backfires at IDS Center A 44 year old Eagan man sustained serious injuries today when a bowling ball he threw at a 5oth floor window at the IDS Tower deflected off the glass and hit him in the groin area breaking his coccyx. more> |
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Elizabethan Week Contest Cancelled: Some Registrants Suicidal Contestants of a television station's event are cowering in embarrassment after the organization cancelled this year's Elizabethan Week and the prizes slated to be awarded, but chose anyway to post the photographs of the registrants on the main web site. more> |
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Computerized Human Resources Wall 'Doesn't Give a Rip' samsungscx3201tonerchipresetter samsungs5600oyunindirgezginler_multisubs3gp bounty killer look samsungstar2themessmtfull_hdmovthepeel.net samsungscx4623fv99resethotfile_2012rarjana glam jana defisamsungsght669pcsuite_2012rarSiemens [UnLock 2]
The Artificial Intelligence Surrogate, or AIS ("Ace"), controls most of the company's payroll and employee complaints using voice recognition and email correspondence.
Many employees have come forward to complain that "HR" is nothing more than an arcade fortune teller that spits out tickets reminding you to check your email for further information. more> |
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Sarin Gas the Cause of Five Deaths in Ridiculous Hospital Mix-up An oxygen tank valve switch was in the wrong position for two days at an Ezekiel West Hospital operating room killing a total of five patients. Many of the victims' families are in shock after a press conference where hospital staff clarified that an A-B switch operated a valve that feeds either oxygen or sarin gas to the patient's breather mask from tanks located in operating room nine. more> |
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Man arrested for assault claims coworker taunted him with prankssamsungwave525androidsoftwaredivx3gphero smarch samsungstars5233apcsuitecdripflacsaladin fr samsungwave525pcsuiteforwindows7torrentdownload samsungs8300temalarindirdvd_versionmov Litz defended his actions to police yesterday, "Every so often that Dale guy pretends to punch me in the groin, only to extend his hand out for a handshake. What's worse, he only does it when I'm carrying hot coffee or speaking to somebody important while walking." more> |
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